(See also my brother Richards’s reflections on Vera’s life before she became a widow.) Mum lived in London when her soul-mate Jimmy died in 1992. She was in her 70th year then. Her life ended in Burton 21 years later. I think - although I am biased - that even in widowhood after 49 years married, Vera continued to be a remarkably selfless and loving woman with such a strong faith. What shall we celebrate about this life over these years? I’m not going into her declining health – let’s just say that dementia did take hold, accompanied by several falls and breaks, and many in Burton will not have known her without this. Dementia did gradually affect her daily living, but not her daily loving. It did isolate her from the friends she couldn’t bring to mind when they sent Christmas cards, and from some of the church folk here who like the family didn’t really know how to strike up conversations. Often silence was the best, or listening to the birds out of the window, just keeping her company until she kicked us out. ‘I really don’t want to keep you’ she would say. But she was never lonely, never depressed – just puzzled and troubled a few times for a few hours. She did trust in God, and didn’t lean on her own understanding, which she knew had faded. Richard, Val and I prayed one time in the London home, without her knowledge, for mum to change her mind, relinquish her strong independence and come to live in the midlands, really because she could no longer manage on her own; this would mean uprooting to go to a place where she knew only a few people and none of the geography. Perhaps the most difficult decision for an oldie. The very next morning she came down and announced she would be happy to move – a real miracle and such an act of faith and courage - to set out on a new phase of life at age 82. Since the move in 2004 there have been a succession of carers – first family (thanks Val and Pat and Richard), until it became too hard, then paid home carers, then Abacus Care Home and their great team, then the hospital. The family has been so impressed by the love and care shown by all her carers and we want to thank each and every one. And Vera seems to have impressed them all too with her love – even the hospital end-of-life nursing team when she could no longer speak. Some brief snapshots of her from me showing the life she led as a widow on her own, and the choices she made, when other people have sometimes given up or shut themselves in. She kept up with her church life in London - a small elderly congregation; this was no mean feat as it involved a 6 mile, hour-long trek on public transport on a Sunday across London, then back again, each week for 12 years. She often mentioned her conversations with strangers about faith on buses to and from church – every challenge an opportunity. She looked after several church friends pastorally, and became church bookings secretary. She cared for her neighbours - perhaps ten or so really relied on her in London. Then more at Holly Green in Burton. Some were very troubled and demanding. She carried on working in the Oxfam shop in Twickenham for a couple of half days each week; she saw her role as backroom, doing the dirty jobs, cleaning staff toilets and taking the donated clothing back home to wash and dry before sale. This she did for at least 25 years. Wow. And she made friends with the Big Issue sellers on the high street - many nationalities - helping them where she could – this when they were a rare sight. She and Jimmy always made strangers welcome. She supported the work of the YMCA when she came to Burton too. Her memory did fade; Paul her grandson re-varnished her fire place in a colour she rather liked when she moved up to Burton and she did remember this. So a few years later when she went to his sister Nicola’s wedding, she came up to Val and said in a delighted voice ‘ You know that man who painted my fireplace? Well, you won’t believe this but he’s here at the wedding - what are the chances of that?’ But fading memory couldn’t really hide the love in her eyes; a lot of people have seen this. I think many could tell you stories of that love in action. This wasn’t reserved for the family - family was just a nice occasional interruption to what she saw as her job - showing love to everyone pretty much without any limit, praying for them and allowing God to work. All of us give thanks for her life and see this death not as the newspapers have it ‘a brave battle lost’, but as a victory won. And her hope really was in the Lord. John Cox 19 December 2013